The Nameless

When I was a young lad, in my catholic school, I noticed that there were these strange blue and yellow signs posted around the gymnasium and cafeteria. Being naturally curious, I went home and asked my mother what exactly a “fallout shelter” was. My mother then dutifully explained their purpose, and why in the case of an actual nuclear attack they wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference. It may have been a harsh lesson for an 8 year old boy, but it’s one that needed to be taught.  One should not cover up the horror of the possibility of nuclear annihilation.             It’s one of the things of growing up a child of the ‘70s and ‘80s, that the possibility of nuclear war hung around like an ever present stench. Until about 1989, the fear that any moment that the world could disappear in a a blinding flash of light was the subtext of almost the  first half of my life. Then the world appeared to get sane, and to wake from ...

So they say you can’t go home again. The more and more I think about it, it’s true. Tonight, Christine, Morgaine, and I stopped at the Silver Diner in Rockville, and it was different. Man, the Silver Diner used to be a great place to go for greasy spoon fare. To be honest, the food was just ok, but it was hot, plentiful, and the service was fast. It was, a great place to gather with friends after a late movie, annoy the staff by playing the banana boat song on the juke box, and argue about the meaning of life.  In short, it was a diner.  That was however, back in 1994. Today, it’s more a diner themed restaurant, than actual diner. Don’t get me wrong the food has taken a step up in quality.  Our dinner was excellent, if overpriced. The thing is, it was too fancy for diner food. While they still had chicken fingers, burgers, and pancakes on their menu, the majority of their menu  were upscale items like the Lamb Merguez burger (which was very good), it’s no longer...

I’ve been mulling over the Trump video all day, and I have to say I am disgusted, but not really surprised. If you paid attention to his comments with regards to Megyn Kelly at the beginning of the campaign, and his subsequent statements and actions told the world exactly what kind of person he was. ( I would have called him slime, but that’s an insult to slime-molds and other lichen that actually serve a useful purpose.) The real question in my mind is how someone like that came to be nominated in the first place.  While I think people are quite correct in calling out the racism and sexism of his supporters,.I feel they are attacking the symptoms, and not the disease itself, which is to my mind income inequality. Which is only going to get worse, especially with the advent of the automation revolution. Which if it comes to pass will automate entire career fields out of existence from truck drivers to copy editors. From what I have read about Trump’s supporters, a very lar...

Well, I guess I need to brush this thing off and actually use it.  It’s good writing practice, which I need especially now. First I have some good news to share. I am officially a Grad Student at the University of Maryland Baltimore County, where I am seeking my Master of Arts in Historical studies.  My first semester started last week, and I am having a blast.  I already can tell how much more intense the work load is going to be as compared to Undergraduate studies.   First there are the readings from what I have seen I will be reading at least five to six hundred pages a week, not counting research. Then there is the writing by my conservative estimate I will be writing approximately 5 to six pages a week, and that is not including assigned research papers and presentations. Plus, I am only going part time! Here’s the thing though. I am looking forward to this work.  I see what’s being asked and why. It is not make work in the slightest, we are w...

So I am going to Graduate School for my MA in history. As my focus is on late antiquity, early medieval, I will need to   work on brushing up my Latin, as well as taking Greek when I start Grad school as my interests tend toward the early church. One way I have been brushing up on my Latin is translating prayers from Latin to English. One of the things I have discovered while doing this, actually the common Roman Rite prayers are actually  quite beautiful in Latin. What follows below are a selection of prayers and their english translations: Credo in Deum Patrem omnipotentem, Creatorem caeli et terrae. Et in Iesum Christum, Filium eius unicum, Dominum nostrum, qui conceptus est de Spiritu Sancto, natus ex Maria Virgine, passus sub Pontio Pilato, crucifixus, mortuus, et sepultus, descendit ad infernos, tertia die resurrexit a mortuis, ascendit ad caelos, sedet ad dexteram Dei Patris omnipotentis, inde venturus est iudicare vivos et mortuos. Credo in Spiritum Sanctum, sanct...

I really did not intend for this blog to become a mental health blog.   I guess the journey I am on is digging up so much, that I need to get what’s in my head out. This blog, I think, is perfect for that. It’s funny, living with depression, you can feel a down period coming on. It rolls in, at least for me, like a storm.   Not one of the flashy summer thunderstorms, that is full of fury then gone in an instant.   It’s more like a cold March rain. You know, when it’s to warm to be snow, but the combined cold and damp chill you to the bone, no matter how many layers of clothing you are wearing. Just generally ugly grey days that all you want to do is curl up under a blanket. That is where I am at right now. I just want to curl up under a blanket. Nothing seems worthwhile, and I am struggling to prioritize anything. Nothing really matters, not even me.   However, I know that, like all storms, this will pass and life will go on.   It’s funny, I thou...

I am using this blog as it was meant to be I suppose, to get my thoughts written down. One of the things I am questioning, is a pull back from social media, and the culture wars being fought on it.     The reason being, is that I am almost pathologically conflict averse, and the online fights send my anxiety levels through the roof. I already have anxiety and depression issues as it is, and I do not need anything to exacerbate them.             This aversion to conflict I have does not play well with current political and online discourse on social media. It appears to me that invective and insult rule the day over compromise and nuance. Yes, I know that there are still articles that discuss things in a rational manner, but the comment sections are cesspools. I know I should stay out of comment sections, but human nature being what it is I cannot help my self.   I go in, find that the section is a seething caul...

So, I have actually started therapy to deal with my depression, anxiety, and panic attacks.   I know said last year that I was going to   enter therapy but I dragged my feet until I couldn’t deal with it anymore. As part of dealing with my depression my therapist wants me to create a list of songs that make me feel better.   Sounds easy no? Except for one thing, my taste in music is well, for lack of a better word, dark. Not the music by per se, but the my oh the lyrics. Here’s   an example         And another:       Yeah this is gonna be harder than I thought.

  I am now starting a new project with this blog, which kind of needed it since it has been sitting fallow for years.   I will be using it as   Latin practice of a sort. I will be choosing various Latin pieces and translating them, plus adding commentary when applicable. To start I am going to be working on Caesar’s de bello Gallia book one part   [1] Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres, quarum unam incolunt Belgae, aliam Aquitani, tertiam qui ipsorum lingua Celtae, nostra Galli appellantur. Hi omnes lingua, institutis, legibus inter se differunt. Gallos ab Aquitanis Garumna flumen, a Belgis Matrona et Sequana dividit. Horum omnium fortissimi sunt Belgae, propterea quod a cultu atque humanitate provinciae longissime absunt, minimeque ad eos mercatores saepe commeant atque ea quae ad effeminandos animos pertinent important, proximique sunt Germanis, qui trans Rhenum incolunt, quibuscum continenter bellum gerunt. Qua de causa Helvetii quoque reliquos Gallos ...

Here’s the funny thing about personal demons. No matter how old they are, and no matter how much you think you’ve put them behind you, they always seem to rise again and again. I have been triggering a lot recently everything from depression, anxiety, to nightmares.   The bad part is, I do not know why.   I will not go into details about what happened, but it’s time I truly faced the past.   It’s these events drove me into drugs, and being on the receiving end of several emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusive relationships.     I know there’s a stigma to admit this, but frankly I do not give a damn anymore. I am finally seeking therapy for what happened 20 years ago. I have been silently carrying these burdens to long.

New blog post coming. Yay for writing again!

  Of all the cemetery pictures I have taken this summer session, I think this is my favorite.

 

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am heavily involved in the evolution/ID-creationism debates online. Even though I am no scientist, rather instead a budding historian, I am staunchly on the evolution side of the debate. However, this being said, I enjoy the back and forth discussion over evidence and have found it possible to agree to disagree peacefully with people on the other side of the debate. There is, however, one tactic used in the debate primarily by creationists, although I have seen evolution supporters use it as well, that never fails to offend me both as a historian, and as a human being. I honestly hate to single out the creationist side of the debate for the use of quote mining. However, in my participation in the debates on line, 95% of the quote mining is from the creationist side of the debate. This tactic is quote mining. Quote mining simply is taking a snippets of a book or article radically out of context to use to support your position. Take this quote t...

Sine qua non. Translated from Latin it means “without which, not.” In colloquial English it means deal breaker. In my recent job search, my own sine qua non, was that I would be able to go to school while working. I have succeeded in this quest, and am now working and going to school full time again. Granted with the inclusion of my Sine qua non, my job search took longer, but in the end, I got what I was looking for, and am happier for it. The only downside, from working full time and going to school is that I am fucking tired a lot of the time. Granted, this may be because of the fact that I have not gotten used to the new sleep schedule. I get between five and seven hours of sleep in an afternoon/evening. However, I have only had this schedule for a week or so, so in a few more weeks, everything should be golden. Also, I am retaining what I learn in class, so that is good. I should be updating this more often, as I have the feeling that I will have a lot more to write about. In g...

Last weekend was a good time, I took my daughter to the renaissance festival. Normally when I go to faire, I hang out with my friends at the White Heart or the Dragon inn. However since I had my daughter with me, I did not want to do that since she would have been bored out of her skull, and besides it would not have been fair to her. So while I did pop in to the taverns from time to time to visit with friends, most of my time was spent seeing what faire had to offer. We went to shows, I played games with my daughter, we even took in the joust. All in all I have not had this much fun at faire in years. I had a geek proud poppa moment at faire. The thing Morgan was most excited for at faire was the joust. All of the way there and back she could not stop talking about it. Furthermore she has said that she wants to become a knight, not a princess, a knight. She wants to wear plate mail, joust, and fight with a sword and shield. After I explained to her what it was, Morgan said that sh...

I am pleased. I put together my new telescope today, and after some trouble figuring out how to work the equatorial mount, went viewing the stars tonight. My list of objects viewed is as follows: The Moon Jupiter The Pleiades (M 45) Aldebaran Vega Altair The only problem was that the light pollution of the harvest moon, and the lights were I live, made viewing difficult. However viewing should be better as the moon wanes, and I know several places in the area were general light pollution is lessened. I cannot wait for the winter constellations to start rising earlier. The Crab and Orion nebulas will be easily visible, as well as a myriad other objects. I know there are just as many in the summer sky, but I know the winter constellations better, and it will be easier finding guide stars. In his book, The Varieties of Scientific Experience, Carl Sagan quotes the poet Edward Young “The undevout astronomer is mad.” Now I do not wholly agree with that statement, as I am not a religious pe...

Was just told in my Greek art and archeology class that the midterm will be pushed back to Friday. Well, good, except that I already have a midterm on Friday ten minutes after my Greek art and Archeology class is complete. This is just lovely, really I mean it. I swear by the time Friday evening comes round I will be drooling mess, ugh so not looking forward to it. At least Crisy has promised me a nice dinner on Friday night. On the good news I am doing well in both of the classes that I have midterms in, and more importantly,I think, I understand the material, so all in all things should go well. So once the midterms are over, Saturday I will start my big research paper for my Intro to the study of history course. The rough Draft is due 4/2 however they only want about five pages double-space. So all in all I am busy busy.